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It's me, Sara

I just wanted to say hi. And talk about me for a minute.

(Btw, I know the little archive thingy says this is my 100th post, but it's only day 98... there were a couple of days in there where I had a lot to say.)

I watched Oprah yesterday, did you? I probably shouldn't have. The episode was called The Truth About Motherhood. All these ladies were talking about how hard being a mom is, and having to reinvent themselves after having a child, and all the things no one told them about motherhood before hand.

While I was watching I was torn in two different directions. I could relate to the difficult days and the learning curve stuff. But I am also really happy being a mom, and a stay-at-home-mom at that. I don't feel like I've had to reinvent myself. I don't feel like I had to give up my identity. Yeah, I've given stuff up... like teaching... or being able to make more than three stops on any given outing. And I have made adjustments to my schedule for nap-time and feedings. But ultimately, I am really enjoying just being with my little girl, watching her change and grow. I am her teacher now.

(I'm sure I'm not saying anything terribly coherent, and I am certain there is a point in there somewhere, but it's probably not very clear. I wish I could tell stories, like Niki, or write in clear thoughts, like Beth, or with beautiful sentences, like Linda.)

I do have to say, all the time I spend at home with Lil is super nice for making messes. And with Jacob out, it's all the messier since I don't have to put my sewing machine away. ever.

Speaking of messes, wait... I think I mean craftiness. I am contemplating (read: dreaming of) starting up an etsy shop. I like being the Craft Maven, lol, and making things. And my girlfriends are always telling me, "you could sell those!" (whatever those are) I'm trying to figure out what it is that I want to sell. Of all my creations you have seen me post, is there anything you think people would buy?

Maybe I'm just blowing smoke.

Maybe I should just stick to being a dreamer. :)

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I say sell it all! Make what you can and put it on Etsy or does the spouses club have a craft shop to sell items at there?

Anonymous said...

OH, and I was watching part of Oprah, you know while playing with the kids outside, making dinner, and trying to read through my new Creative Memories stuff:) It's the same thing we always here. We all have days where we think, this is what I gave my life up for? And then you realize you didn't give things up, they're on hold for a bit, or you have new priorities that just don't match up with your old self. Change isn't such a bad thing, it can just be exhausting at times:)

Beth said...

OOH! I likey the new background.

I say sell the smocks. Those are SUPER CUTE and it's nice that they're reversable. I bet those would go like hot cakes.

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU! I meet all these women, online and in real life, who are always kvetching about how they need something extra in addition to being a mom. I never can understand it! I spent so much time and energy just trying to BECOME a mother and now that I'm here I wouldn't trade these days of snotty noses, nuclear diapers, and gummy kisses for anything. I love being "mommy." Sure it's hard some days and sure it's exhausting. But I can't think of anything else I've loved more.

Whew! Rant over, I'll give you back your blog now. :-)

I'm with Beth on the smocks; I'd totally snap those up if I had a little girlbaby to put them on. But Kelly is right about Etsy, just list everything. There is a buyer for everything under the sun! I think those jingly caterpillars would go pretty quickly, too.

xo
Linda

Anonymous said...

The smocks for sure - you got a beginner sewer to make one so that says a lot - plus I LOVE mine and looking forward to making another:)

Tiffany said...

I missed the episode. Did those women have multiple children? I found once I had two instead of one, well, the laundry pile doubled, the colds would go through two cycles as it passed onto a sibling, instead of a short one cycle, the general chaos advances to sometimes an intolerable volume, and the food bill/diaper bill triples! Money worries, world worries, health and safety worries, they all go w/ EACH child, so that, too, doubles. I'll bet what those women meant by saying they have to reinvent themselves is this: when one is consumed w/ other people ie. your own kids, your mind is taken over with their lives instead of your own. Someday they will be done w/ highschool and want to move out and on w/ their lives and suddenly you're mind is no longer consumed with such a strong WORRY. Suddenly you're free to live, worry less, relax, avoid laundry if you wish, go out to dinner if you want, drop everything to go on vacation, etc. But this is 20 yrs after. they say a woman changes significantly every decade. After two decades... who are you? Who are you NOW? Who have you become on the Inside?

With each year, and each child, i believe I became someone different than before. It's a work in progress always, but I think I understand what they mean. IT's easy to define yourself as Mom... but eventually, our kids don't need us on that level, as it should be, and then we have to redefine our role all over again. I'll bet this happens several times throughout their 18 years. I think it's happened several times for me already, and garrett is 10. ;)

That be my two cents, sister! I've actually given this subject a lot of thought during times I miss the old me. Sometimes the responsible me is quite boring and routine. sometimes the Me looking back at me in the mirror is wondering if I can get thru just one day w/out hearing the sound of an argument between the kids, or one day w/out tripping over Syd's shoes in the dining room which I've told her a hundren times not to leave there, or one day with total complaince by my wonderful, loving children. Just one day! Day in and day out of the same can be sufficating.

I should also say that I would never have said any of this during the "in love" stage that you're in. It lasted about 3-4 yrs. Once the independance and language is established, the dynamics change. I was just telling Shane the other day how much I love and adore the kids... but how much I miss that honeymoon stage. He decided that's why the OCTOmom kept wanting more... the honeymoon stage! There's just nothing like your child being in love w/ you, and you w/ them. It's a WONDERFUL stage, and it goes by so fast and then the stage is onto a new one. Dont get me wrong, we always need our mama's.. that'll never change, forever. We just aren't "in love" w/ them as toddlers are "in love" w/ moms. I used to LOVE it when they would be tired, and grab ahold of my face, bury their heads into my neck, sloppy kisses, and dreary smiles. Those are the moments that will always be frozen in time for me. The sweetest memories for all of us moms are those very loving, affectionate moments. Nothin' beats them, I dare say. It's sometimes sad to know those moments are gone.

You're doing a wonderful job noting Lily's life. Enjoy these years the way you are... they won't last forever, she'll change and grow so darn fast it's not fair. ;)

Love you,
kisses to my girl! xoxo
Tiffany